Why real change is an inside job

Inner Assertion vs outer assertion

I have been an assertion trainer for more than 20 years and taught bundles of managers.

The techniques are great.

Learn to say clearly what you want from people – and don’t be submissive or aggressive – just be assertive and so on.

Don’t play games or manipulate.

Assertion is like most coaching, it works – at least 14 days!

That is until you forget the euphoric feeling of understanding it and maybe even using it in your job or life.

Then you forget! The experience of every day distraction sets in.

This is perfectly natural because you have only been asserting the 10 % of you that is the tip of the iceberg – 90 % of who you are is not changing!

It’s a bit like learning to paint by numbers but not really understanding what creativity is – being a copy cat.

Or when you learn how to drive – you get a drivers license – but you still have a lot to learn, some would say now the real lessons start

There is nothing wrong with learning NLP, Assertion, Coaching, or “The Secret” (That hardly can be a secret any more) but now to my point.

It just doesn’t work that way – motivation and change is not about understanding, knowing or willing stuff.

Well it can be the reason we set out to change – but in the long run it just doesn’t work that way.

It is deeper – much deeper


It involves a process deeper than the usual cognitive pep-talk or “I can do it”

It involves your inner focus or inner assertion if it is going to work in the long run and create actual change


Usually we are caught up in the outer assertion – how do I appear stronger to others or how do I get my team to perform and listen, earn more money etc.

But real change is an inside job.

This means that you no longer “want to be” assertive – it means that you are assertive

You are naturally convincing even when you don’t use a technique – why?

Because You are coming from a place of authenticity and not a place of applied “top down” knowledge

People know this in their gut – if you are faking authenticity you are a FAKE!

Inner Learning

Please join me when we go from superficial learning to inner learning –

You will be surprised that things start to happen in a different way.

This will not be without ups or downs but it will be with You at the steering wheel instead of some high priced consultant teaching you yesterdays tricks.

Inner Learning uses Inner Focusing

Focusing is a path and a method.

It is what I found after many years to be a sustainable change method versus a glazing on a cake.

You need to know about ingredients and about feeling your dough – sensing what You come from and what resides inside You.

You need to understand how to feel your deeper senses and make sense of them.

This approach is called Domain Focusing and will give you a valuable tool that will help change become inner – driven and help You grow personally and professionally in a more sustainable natural way.

No pesticide will do that for you – no hormone will kick it off or kick your ass. No, You will know what is right at the right time what to do.

KISS (Keep it simple stupid) will now become KISS – Keep it simple (and) sustainable

By the way – this is a psychologically sound method and not  a “touchy-feely” endeavour. It is a precise and proven way of cultivating change – in the long run. It does not require analysis or dissecting your family – but it does teach You how to use your innate world – this is where You come from – and become wiser while You do it – what You do and will do will become clear to You as the process unfolds.

Learn more: contact me and try it out – I will set up a session

© Timothy C Nunan

Copyright © Chris Nunantcnunan[@]innerfocusing.com